Myers-Briggs, Astrology, or ChatGPT

on how to find a romantic partner

Once, just before my wedding a friend looked at me with a strange, pleading expression over dinner, and then after some time searching for words finally landed on “How did you… do it?” I took this to be a foreshortened attempt to express utter terror at navigating the ruinous landscape that is modern dating. I have many opinions about dating and romance, but I don’t usually share them. For the most part this is because people don’t ask. I also tend to think people should not offer advice to the general public until they are full of years and surrounded by grandchildren. But yesterday, while overhearing a conversation, I was sorely tempted to throw my oar in, if not with advice, with questions.

I was sitting in a sunny courtyard, minding my business and enjoying a flat white and chocolate chip cookie from home. Tables were scarce so I was pleased to find one since I planned to do some work on my laptop once I finished consuming the cookie. Due to the table scarcity, however, a few minutes into my reverie, a smartly dressed women who appeared to be in her early fifties asked whether she could join me at the table. I said sure, and a few minutes later a friend joined her.

What followed was an hour of completely unguarded conversation between the two, many moments of which made me want to point at my ears and say “You do realise I don’t have headphones in, right? I can hear everything you are saying.”

But I confess, maybe I wouldn’t really have wanted them to guard their conversation, because it was fascinating. Topics of conversation included one of the women getting a book contract (wohoo! well done!), how hard it was to make British friends (they were both American), and how one of them planned to make their “next billion” (this one, I note, was wearing a Rolex). But by far the most exciting part was when the Rolex woman told the Book woman about her dating woes (which did sound very sad! I hope she is doing ok!). Specifically, she shared at length how she was “using ChatGPT to attract ENF men on the apps.”

I should say that in general I am not in favour of eaves dropping, and especially not of eaves dropping and then sharing it on the internet, but I can’t emphasise enough to you that these women were maybe two feet away from my face then entire time and in an extremely public place. I’ll put the rest of this conversation behind the wall for the very remote possibility someone that knows them sees it.